Littering isn't the only way to make an Indian Cry

Nov 10th 2009 - Written by: John Webb

We Will Beat FSU Like a Rented Mule: Last blog I predicted that Clemson “will beat FSU like a rented mule.” Oh, my prophetic soul. Littering isn’t the only way to make the Indian cry -- you can also score three unanswered touchdowns in the fourth quarter.

Clemson’s agricultural heritage has left us with a high view of mules, whether rented or not, so it’s little wonder that the Tigers only administered 16 points worth of beating to the Seminoles: final score, Clemson 40 FSU 24.

Mules notwithstanding, it didn’t help that Kyle Parker threw a pick 6 (while almost throwing another one), and that Clemson had first and goal on two possessions without coming away with points. A covered tight end expunged a touchdown pass to Michael Palmer on one of those possessions – please learn the plays, Xavier Dye. It reminded me of two Georgia Tech games where Palmer’s mistakes created illegal formations and cost us points. At least Palmer was the good guy this time; he is one of my favorite Tigers.

The Answer is Three Things All Clemson Men Like: Alex, what are football, barbecue, and Erin Andrews?

Speaking of EA, I saw a burley lad in a nice suit trailing her for the duration of the FSU game. I can only assume that he is her bodyguard, provided by ESPN. This is a classy move by the worldwide leader in sports, though one might cynically say they are only concerned with avoiding future litigation by Ms. Andrews. It would stand to reason a peeping tom in a hotel might not be her only stalker.

When Jarvis Jenkins or Brandon Thompson leave the program, let’s recruit Erin Andrews’ bodyguard. He is a defensive tackle if I ever saw one.

Prime Time Players in the Clemson/N.C. State Game: In 2001 Woody Dantzler had a magical day in Raleigh, compiling 517 all-purpose yards against the Wolfpack. If you get Fox Sports South, they replay this game twenty times a day.

In 2005 James Davis averaged 11.9 yards/carry before breaking his arm in the third quarter. He ended up with 143 yards on 12 carries.

College football loves phenomenal athletes that can score in different ways – C.J. Spiller, Reggie Bush, Peter Warrick, Percy Harvin, Devin Hester, and many others. We all know that Spiller has had over 300 all-purpose yards against Miami and Florida State. The Clemson/N.C. State series has produced many great individual performances (including that dark day in 1998 when Torrey Holt scored four touchdowns.)

Spiller needs another 300 yard game on Saturday to build a case for an invitation to the Heisman ceremony, if not a case for the Heisman itself. I think he will do it, unless Dabo sits him at the end of the game. He’s a little banged up, and he was surprisingly winded at the end of the Florida State game.

I See Dead People…Everywhere: I have a theory: Tom O’Brien and Al Groh are both dead but just haven’t fallen over yet.

We play N.C. State this week and Virginia the next. Have we ever had two successive games against more boring coaches? The Gamecocks have their Orange Crush portion of the schedule where they play Florida, Tennessee, and Clemson. We should have a similar name for our two games against coaches least likely to have a pulse. How about the Dismal Duo? Feel free to make a suggestion.

Antepenultimate: Antepenultimate is my favorite word. It means next to next to last. This is the antepenultimate game of Clemson’s regular season. I find that Clemson tends to do well in antepenultimate things. For instance, Danny Ford was our antepenultimate coach before the Tommy West era, and the 1982 Orange Bowl was our antepenultimate bowl before the 1986 Gator Bowl. N.C. State should think of all things antepenultimate and shudder.

Please send fawning emails to sectionHrowJ@gmail.com.

[ Back ]